Full time therapist, full time mom

I never wanted to work full time with kids. Didn't want to do it, didn't think I ever would.... until now. Now, when work took away benefits for part time workers. So, for the past 8 weeks I have been working full time, without earning benefits, to "prove" I can carry a full time caseload. That means seeing at least 26 clients a week. That's a lot of hurting kids!!! I finally did it, I have made it to full time. Let me tell you, it was tough since it was winter and there are more clients that cancel due to illness and weather conditions, as well as more reasons that I need to cancel.

Why do I need benefits? Well, one reasons is I do plan to try to have another child at some point. If I do have a successful pregancy, I want and deserve a paid maternity leave. Also, my kids are not the healthiest kids on the block. We've had pnemonia and scarlet fever in the house this winter, along with asthma and colds. When I have to stay home with my kids, I still pay $50 for the day in daycare costs. I need to get paid for those days when I don't choose to be home.

So, until that next kid comes along, or we adopt, or I decide I've had enough, I will be full time. I'm doing this in 4 days a week and then paperwork at home so that my boys aren't in daycare everyday. But again, THAT'S ALOT OF HURTING KIDS, walking into my office and showing me their hurt. That's a lot of parents looking to me to "fix their kid". Some days I'm so emotionally worn out that I just want to go home and hug and cuddle my kids. Too bad my boys are too busy and active for cuddles. They do make me laugh and they both talk to me on the phone on my late days, when they are home with daddy.

I realize more and more how blessed I am by my two little rascals. These little guys both have a mom and dad who love and nurture them. They go out silly outings, frequent walks by the river, trips to the zoo, playland visits, and bike rides. They get tickled and loved and have not experienced the pain that already some of the children their age have been through. I sometimes wonder how different each of the children coming into my office would be, if they had been given the start to life that my boys have been given. Then I remember my own early life and how I have been able to use my experiences to heal others. I thank God for the gifts he has given me and pray that he will help me to be both a nurturing and God fearing mother, as well as reach out to his hurting children and provide them a chance to become all that He intended them to be.